The ugly side of self care

Hey Guys! Long time no see! What’s new?

So, I wanted to talk about the side of self care that is often suppressed. The side that makes the most difference and requires the biggest sacrifice. Yet, I find that we don’t focus or give it enough attention. And that’s the ugly side to self care….

Now, you’re probably wondering what I mean by the ‘ugly side’ to self care and why I’m bothering to talk about it. Well, I was inspired by the the numerous posts that many of us self-care enthusiasts, including myself, write about the topic.

We talk about its high importance and necessity. We mention how much peace it brings when we fully immerse ourselves in it. We also talk about why we need to keep practising it to see its full effects.


And there are many trends knocking about like the ‘tapping’ therapy which “helps release negative emotions by tapping on meridian energy points around the body, similar to acupuncture points” and has been adopted by many celebrities alike, according to Marie Claire.

Or how about the nine ways mentioned by Pop Sugar, on how to successfully practise self care. The lists suggests things like “eating something delicious” or “wearing a special outfit” among others.  Self-care has become consumerized and watered down to make it as marketable as possible – as succinctly put by The Guardian.

“It’s basically Treat Yo’ Self in slightly superior clothing.”

And don’t me wrong, these are lovely things to do. For many that is how they protect their soul and body. They bring small joys into their lives and keep them feeling grounded. I’ve always advocated this and always will.

Yet, we don’t talk about how hard and painful it is. Real and honest self-care isn’t all roses and incense. Its not just long walks in the park and living your so-called best life. Its gruesome at the best of times and requires us to delve deep into ourselves. And requires the un-picking of deep-rooted and seated issues. Things that we want to mend on the surface, but still do not fill in the cracks.


And I don’t blame us for doing this. It’s not easy to address our most hated parts. But that is the real self-care. The action of making ourselves into better people so that we may serve others. And by that I mean helping others to do the work that self-care really requires too. Thereby passing on the crucial life-lessons for future generations.

And that’s the ‘ugliness’. The times where you have to exercise the upmost discipline that may have you crying, lonely and angry. The work that feels like the total opposite of anything you’ve ever felt. But that’s normally because you never tried it before or put yourself totally first. You may even lose friends and family as you gradually weed out the people who hold you back or drain you.


So, for everyone it’s entirely different and will have a variety of tough outcomes. The point is though, is that its forcing you to come to terms with any problems in your relationship (to yourself included), jobs, mental health and fitness etc. It’s the heavy responsibility of taking care of your full well-being and life in general.

And it’s a lifetime struggle. You have to do it continuously and in an unrelenting manner, as if your life depends on it, because it does.

As Tami Forman rightly put it for Forbes, “self care is not an indulgence …it requires tough-mindedness, a deep and personal understanding of your priorities, and a respect for both yourself and the people you choose to spend your life with.

“And those who take care of themselves also have the energy to work with meaning and purpose toward a worthy goal. Which means they are also the people most likely to make the world a better place for all of us.”

In that order.





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