Hey Guys! How you doing? What’s new?
So, I wanted to talk about letting go of the past or more specifically letting go of what no longer serves you and moving on.
Now I’ve really struggled with letting go and totally moving on from something. Mainly because I didn’t believe I would ever find something better or the pain would be too much to bear.
Both times I’ve been wrong. So much so that I wonder why I was scared to let go in the first place. And many of us have this same initial dilemma. We are scared of letting go and fully moving on, because of what we might stand to lose.
That seems odd right? I can’t let go of something that no longer benefits me? Well, it boils down to many of us finding comfort in our misery because we’re used to it.
But here’s the real problem:
Not letting go at all, will slap you the most in your face.
When you don’t let go you stand to hold yourself back. For the last few months I’ve been holding back on what I’ve truly wanted to do and that’s start a self-care blog.
I started SosaSharon.com with no direction, but as I kept on writing I realized that I wanted to do something more. I wanted to encourage people, as I’m doing for myself, to care for themselves. But not wanting to let go of the blog format I already had, stopped me from beginning something I was really passionate about.
Loads of us do this. Not letting go of that boy or girl who treats you badly or staying in that job that you hate because it provides security. It can also be for deeper traumas that have dramatically changed the course of your life, but you refuse to let go of the pain it caused you. We’re all holding on to something we no longer need.
But today I urge you, as I am urging myself:
Okay so what does that mean?
It means going forward and taking your first step ahead. Now do this strategically, don’t just get up and go, but think, plan and MOVE (time for a good old list!):
1. Release your victimhood
Being a ‘victim of your circumstances’ means you tend to hold on to whatever is stopping you from moving on. It’s like keeping an old pair of shoes, it has lots of memories attached to it, but the sole is ripped and it’s taking up space in your closet. You don’t need it anymore and wearing it would only cause you discomfort.
Set yourself free and become a victor (and get a new pair of shoes!)
2. Don’t evade the problem
A crucial part of letting go, is actually addressing what you’re holding on too. It’s important to remember that some things aren’t so obvious, you may need to sit down and think about what you should let go of. As I said before, it could be due to a deep trauma and the requires you delving into some deep and forgotten parts of you life.
Open up and let go.
3. Change your tribe
I saw this tweet by the lovely @EsmeAraresa about the company you keep. Letting go isn’t just related to experiences, it’s also about people. People who aren’t there for you, or help you to improve yourself. Reassess who your true friends are and let go of those that pull you down, it’s never worth it.
4. Transform your narrative
Some of us, myself included, allow a continuous negative story to dominate our lives. We aren’t good enough, we will never be able to do better, things won’t be the same anymore. This gloomy story can stop us from letting go because we think we won’t be able to survive.
According to Psychology Today: “A healthy rewrite makes you less victimized, less devastated, less lost than the one you told yourself at the time of the original injury. It reduces the deep rage, loss, and fear that have been holding you back.”
You are good enough, you can do better, things will improve.
5. Finally, Move
I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep on moving. Once you’ve identified what is holding you back, you must actually let go. Don’t plan to let go, or let go when things are settled. Do it NOW! You owe to yourself to be in a good place. For me, moving on was about finally doing what God has called me to do. For you, it could be about finding peace, achieving new things or just being happier.
So, guys, when the future comes a-calling and it’s time for you to move, tell whatever is holding you back:
P.S I would love to hear about how you moved, and what you did to let go….